


Creepy Old Guy

by Daydreaminganewworld



Series: Beetlelands Week [3]
Category: Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, I am a fool who is tired and tried her best, Multi, Wedding Fluff, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:01:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26392312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreaminganewworld/pseuds/Daydreaminganewworld
Summary: It’s time for the Beetlelands wedding!! But Beej has wedding jitters, so lydia decides to cheer him up. In ~song form~Beej realizes she is very annoying when she wants to be.
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Charles Deetz & Delia Deetz & Lydia Deetz & Adam Maitland & Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice & Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland
Series: Beetlelands Week [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912855
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31
Collections: Beetlelands Week 2020





	Creepy Old Guy

**Author's Note:**

> Art can be found [here](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/post/628881394163154944/day-five-wedding-this-took-way-too-long)

“Oh my god this is the wo-orst.” 

Lydia paused, her finger poised to knock on the door when the gravelly groan of Beetlejuice drifted out of the room. She reconsidered her options, before deciding it wasn’t worth the effort and firmly tapped twice on the door. “Better be decent, Beej, I’m coming in,” she called, turning the door knob and stepping into her pseudo brother’s room. 

Beetlejuice was laid sprawled out on the bathroom counter, hair a whirling mess of colors. He was mostly dressed, his kippah was in place, and he was properly cleaned up. It seemed the only problem he was only dealing with was a bad case of wedding nerves. 

Lydia smirked and closed the door behind her, moving to grab Beetlejuice’s jacket off the bed and flung it at his prone body. “Get up, loser. It’s almost time for you to get married,” she ordered. 

Lydia wasn’t quite sure how they’d gotten to this point, holding a wedding ceremony for Beetlejuice and the Maitlands in their home. She knew Beetlejuice had a crush on the Maitlands. He told her all about it in return for her telling him about her crush. She knew that one day the ghosts finally all got together, after various nail painting sessions in which Beej bemoaned his feelings, and some rather obvious heavy flirtation from both parties. She knew that they had basically reached the gross domestic stage of dating, the trio basically sharing the attic and spending a ludicrous amount of time being gross and schmoopy together. But Lydia wasn’t sure when they all decided they wanted to all marry each other. She just knew that one random day Beetlejuice burst into Lydia’s room hollering about how she needed to be his escort for his wedding that was now on. She didn’t know how the proposals had happened, but of course, she was all in. And of course she’d be Beetlejuice’s escort, she’d be offended if she wasn’t. 

Her parents were happily roped in to help plan out the wedding, and the three ghosts were a mess of love and nerves about the upcoming wedding date. It was probably odd from an outsiders perspective, why would a ghost couple marry a deadborn when they all were no longer alive and it didn’t matter anymore, and some people would look down on the polyamorous aspect of the relationship, because some people cared too much about matters that didn’t involve them, but to Lydia this whole thing made perfect sense. This was how their family was, and it made the three paranormal beings happy, and that’s all that mattered to Lydia. 

Slowly Beetlejuice peeked out from his jacket mournfully, pulling Lydia from her thoughts. “What if they realize they don’t want to do it? What if I fuck up, or they hate me and they le-ave?” he whined. 

Lydia sat down on the bed, shooting Beetlejuice a flat look. “Listen, bitch. Barb and Adam aren’t just going to randomly back out and just hate you. For some weird reason, they like you enough to marry you, Beej. If they didn’t back out when you tried to convince us to have Sandy as the officiant, they won’t back out now on the actual day of the wedding.” The sandworm seemed upset that she didn’t get the part, but she cheered up when they had her stand guard over the chuppah, in case any other beast wanted to try crashing the wedding. The honor of officiant surprisingly fell to one Miss Argentina, who somehow was certified as an officiant for any type of wedding out there. Apparently ghosts getting married to each other was a common occurrence in the Netherworld. 

Beetlejuice looked away, but Lydia’s words seemed to be working as his hair bled into a lovely mix of magenta and green. “Maybe you have a point,” he admitted begrudgingly. 

Lydia stood up and kicked his leg. “I’m always right, and you know it. Now c’mon, I got dolled up and everything to take you to marry my ghost parents. I’m not gonna let you make all my hard makeup work be for nothing,” she gestured to the thick eyeliner and pale white foundation, making her appear as a ghastly apparition similar to the bride and bridegrooms. 

Beetlejuice slowly stood, putting his jacket on properly. He straightened his kippah and sucked in a quick breath. “Ok, ok. Ok! I can do this. I’m the ghost with the most! I got this!” He growled to his reflection, flexing his hands. 

“Yeah, you married a fifteen year old once, two consenting adult ghosts should be a cakewalk in comparison,” Lydia agreed, smirking. 

Beetlejuice spluttered at that, spinning around and jabbing a finger at the teen. “I already apologized like a billion times for that! You’re really gonna bring this up again now?” 

Lydia grinned, and turned to the door, gliding away. “Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, my ghost parents are marrying their own creepy old guy!” She sang. 

“I swear to whatever deity out there, I will have my vengeance on you, Scarecrow!” Beetlejuice raced after her, and Lydia sprinted out into the hall, cackling. 

Delia was walking up the stairs, carrying a folded cloth in her arms when Lydia raced out, and the teen quickly hid behind her stepmother. “Fix his hair, get him prepared for Armageddon. Sure, the grooms both crawled out of a tomb, but hey, hey, it's a wedding!” Lydia sang as she peeped around Delia. 

Beetlejuice appeared in his bedroom doorway looking ready to chase after, but froze upon seeing the white cloth in Delia’s arms. “Oh,” his eyes widened as he realized that she was holding a tallit. 

“What are you two doing?” Delia giggled, looking back to Lydia who looked like the cat who caught the canary. 

“I’m pumping Beej up for the upcoming ceremonies, like a good escort,” Lydia explained, batting her eyes innocently. 

Delia hummed disbelievingly, but turned back to Beetlejuice who was looking uncertainly at the tallit in her arms. Delia smiled, and unfolded the white cloth. “I thought you would appreciate having this for today. Hasn’t been used in a while, but I’m sure my parents would be happy with me letting it be used again,” she explained, carefully setting the tallit around Beetlejuice’s shoulders. He carefully clutched the cloth, swallowing heavily. 

“Thanks, D,” he murmured, blinking his eyes rapidly. 

“Of course, sweetie. Now, let’s get our creepy old guy married!” Delia grinned, grabbing Beetlejuice’s arm while Lydia grabbed his other and the three started for the stairs. 

“So dim the lights, pick up some rice, say something nice. It's their day to shine, they’re getting hitched to our creepy old guy!” the two sang in unison as they glided down the stairs, dragging a put upon Beetlejuice with them. 

“Goddammit you guys, why??” 

They continued to tease him as they went, and when they met with Charles outside of the room they were going to sign the ketubah, they roped him into their impromptu singing. “Have you guys heard of Marston? This is like that, but supernatural!” He said as he opened the door with a wink, discreetly squeezing Beetlejuice’s shoulder reassuringly as they entered the room. 

Beetlejuice felt ready to strangle hug them all tight at the same time, but then he saw the Maitlands, and if his heart was beating, it would’ve stopped right then and there. Barbara was drop dead (Hah) gorgeous in her dress, and Adam cut the handsomest figure in his suit, both just looking so… beautiful. What really made Beetlejuice happy, though, was seeing they were just as nervous as he was. Adam kept readjusting his kippah, and Barbara kept straightening her veil, but when the other four stepped in, the two locked eyes with Beetlejuice, and the biggest grins graced their faces. Beetlejuice never felt more ready for this in his entire after life. It was showtime. 

“O.M.G. Dressed to a "T". Fancy and formal, I found me a husband and wife. L'chaim to life. This is so absurdly normal! I was ignored, but now, I'm adored! 'Cause I was real, honest and apologized. Give it up for my ghost husband and bride!” 

The three almost cried when they signed the ketubah, and they actually did cry when they said their vows at the ceremony. It was disgustingly sweet, even Beetlejuice was shockingly sincere in his vows, his eyes only for the ghost couple he was marrying, the three of them draped with the tallit Delia gave them. 

When the vows were given, the glass broken by the three, and everyone finished cheering, the three were quick to take their yichud before the reception. When the door was closed and they were finally alone together, they hugged, for a long, quiet moment. It seemed as if time had froze, and the moment would stretch on forever. 

That is, until Barbara gently began to sing, “We are marrying our creepy old guy.” 

Beetlejuice froze, before breaking down into laughter, shoving Barbara and Adam away as they sang “Creepy old guy!” at him with wide grins. 

“I don’t even know why I married you!” He howled, his kippah almost tumbling off as he rocked back with laughter. 

“It’s too late to back out now,” Adam grinned, wrapping his arms around the demon and holding him up. 

“You’re a part of Maitlands 3.0 now!” Barbara added, throwing her arms around the both of them. The three laughed, the wedding jitters now long gone. 

“Yeah,” Beetlejuice couldn’t help but agree, smiling back dopily at the two. Eternity with them was going to be better than any experience he ever could’ve had being alive. 

**Author's Note:**

> IM DONE WITH THIS FINALLY AND IM TIRED. Do you know how hard it is to rewrite lyrics???? It’s VERY HARD.   
> There was also a LOT of frantic researching, as I wanted the Jewish wedding to be good, because YALL DESERVE IT. BEEJ DESERVES IT, DELIA DESERVES IT, EVERYONE.   
> You can find me dying on tumblr [@daydreaming-jessi](https://daydreaming-jessi.tumblr.com/)


End file.
